Did you know that being a rebel and breaking the rules can makes you a better leader? So how about adding a little sassy attitude into your own life?
As you can imagine and somehow deep down you know, that in order to have the business and personal life you dream of you need to be willing to go out of your comfort zone and dare, at times, to do things that you have never done before.
You need to be willing to stop what you are doing, break away from your routines, rethink situations that you know are not good for you and that you are in on daily basics, and readjust your actions when change is needed.
It’s not because you CAN do something that you SHOULD be doing it.
Sometimes we get lost in an avalanches of tasks we are used to do everyday. Often without questioning whether those actions actually are important, or if they truly bring us closer to fulfilling our most ambitious goals.
Often, we are following patterns, and do what we are used to doing – “what we feel we should be doing”, everyday.
At first when I started my own business, and I had a glimpse of how much I needed to learn, the feeling of being overwhelmed was creeping in. I was pushing myself hard, I wanted, no – I needed to learn everything about how to actually create a profitable business. I needed to learn about photography, client service, sales, marketing. You name it I was learning it. I didn’t give myself an option to fail.
I was learning all those skills, as I needed to catch up, on all levels, to my photography skills. I needed to learn a as soon as possible… For as long as I can remember, I loved showing people how truly beautiful they really are just as they are. It was my mission, it’s part of fulfilling my soulful purpose. Photography, my business and coaching people are some of my big loves and I wanted it to be able to serve as many people as I possibly could, while also constantly investing in self-growth.
In my mind it was clear, the bigger and more successful my business became the more people I could help, and encourage to become all they could be. I wanted to be able to help and change lives of as many people as possible and I was ready to do whatever it took to make it happen.
So I served myself (daily) a looooong to do lists, with all awww so important things. They all needed to be done, they all mattered. I felt as if I SHOULD be doing them all, so I did. Plus I got really great at adding new things, new jobs, new tasks everyday.
Through those moment as I also was coaching myself how to improve my workflow and how to focus on my most important goals, I realized that my plate was way to full for me to ever reach the life I dreamed of.
On my lists there were so many different things, things not only important for me but also things that other people where asking me for. As I love helping and supporting people whenever I can, it was all in there.
I was shooting clients, collaborating with other creatives, learning about how to have a healthy business and making my business grow… I was following course after course to learn as soon as possible and gain skills I needed to do it RIGHT. I gained any skill my business needed to move forward and grow.
In moments of feeling overwhelmed, while getting lost in what was next on my to-do-lists… there were times when I tried to be everyone for everyone. Often in those moments I was forgetting to be there and show up for myself at all.
I had the feeling that if “I could” help people “I should”. That’s how I ended up adding to my plate things that I didn’t said no to, when I should have.
I was accepting the wrong clients, just because they really really really wanted me to be their photographer. I was doing creative collaborative work when I was already way to overloaded with paid work, that needed to be done. Of course paid work always came first – my clients are always getting my best, but still… I would not sleep for days at times to finish and deliver all that work. Also I was giving my services to people for free because they needed help with something I could provide, because they, needed me to help them.
I felt like I should do those things to be truly of service to as many people possible. Often because I REALLY REALLY LOVE HELPING PEOPLE, as well because I had the skill, understanding, tools and I technically could do those things. And even when I didn’t, I’m resourceful (right) I knew that I could learn anything.
I didn’t have the time, but back then, that seemed like a minor detail – I lived as if I could magically bend and stretch time endlessly. Can you imagine…. hahaha… I was that kind of funny. ;-))
So often as I technically could do many things – as I really love learning, mastering my skills, sharing, motivating and helping others. There were times when while having a long to-do-lists I failed to take a moment to ask myself those very important questions: Is this the right step for me at this point of my journey? Is it the best use of my time? Will that help me to reach/fulfill my purpose or will it take me off my path?
The truth is that even if you have skills that others could use, that doesn’t mean that you SHOULD always be the one to help them.
- Sure, you might have the expertise – but there are many others who have it too
- You might have the skills – but you are not alone, and there are many people who can do it or learn how to do it too
- And yes, you could learn, look things up and figure things out – but everybody have this amazing gift
The fact is that as long as you will associate your could with should you will risk having overwhelm at your family dinner everyday, sitting on the honorable place.
But it doesn’t have to be that way, you my darling, as I did, have a choice. You are in charge of your own life and it’s up to you to use this moment, this realization that even if you have many skills, and you like helping people. Even if “you could do something” it DOESN’T mean that “you should do it”.
Just imagine, what would happen if before replying and agreeing to do something that doesn’t serve you, you would take a moment to breath… And when you can feel, with all your being that you should say no, with grace, love and light you would actually say NO!
Can you imagine?
How does that make you feel?
How about: loved, grateful, empowered, incredible, free, important… respected, appreciated… heard, valued…
That’s how I felt when I took the power to start taking conscious decisions back in my life.
If you are nodding, thinking that you need to do this or feeling that I’m telling somewhat part of your story. Now, it’s your turn, it’s your time to be in charge of your own life, and you know it.
It’s time to awaken the enlightened, loving, assertive rebel in you!
If you are anything like I was, during those first years of having my own business. This shift will feel amazing, and awww … so freeing. Truly incredible.
Tweet: Sometimes, giving yourself a permission to say “no” is the first step towards your dream life. @m_sunshine
#assertive #leadership #lifecoaching
This is the action that will help you save your energy, protect your health and it will help you create truly balanced life. It will help you follow your path, by respecting, honoring and following your personal core values.
It will help you focus on your personal growth. Focus on fulfilling your soulful purpose, and on delivering the best quality work you have ever done.
For me, the time of the unconscious assumption that I had been living on for long time, “if you could, you should”, is long over. Awakened awareness that I was actually doing it was my big ahhha moment, and that moment changed my life forever.
That one subconscious thought, repeated by me pattern, it had so many consequences. While helping others, and making their desires and wishes more important than my personal priorities, I wan’t focusing my energy and time on what actually mattered the most.
In those moment, all that hard work was just exhausting. Even though I was giving it my all, my productivity and performance where not always on the highest level that I knew I was capable of. I was spreading myself thin. I was working long long hours yet constantly I had the feeling that I need to catch up with someone or something.
I was hustling, while feeling constant pressured by the lack of time. I carried on my shoulders expectations from others + my in the eyes of my harshest judge – “myself”, I rarely was doing enough.
In some of those moments, when I would be stuck in a loop feeling that I did not have a moment to breath, not to even mention time to ask any of the important questions… In those moments, often the decisions I was making drained the joy from doing things that I normally truly enjoyed doing. Things that would otherwise make me and others shine.
It made me feel stressed out, drained, I found myself nagging, frustrated and at times resentful on the inside.
Before doing the job, changing my mindset, shifting my energy and setting the right frequency of energy that I needed to be in, in order to even start the job, took time every time.
The way I was living my life, even with all the right intentions, was not sustainable. It became clear that it was not the way I wanted to do things and from that moment on, I wouldn’t anymore.
I’m not one of those people who believe that life is a struggle. To me life is a gift and a blessing!
So, there I was confronted with the truth. I needed to start saying no. I needed to awaken and invite forward the assertive self, and learn how to say no, in a way that felt respectful and loving towards myself and others.
I focused on changing my thoughts and the patterns I was repeating, by creating new ones that served my soulful purpose, helped me grow and help me achieve my goals.
When that powerful shift took place, there were times when people were surprised by the change in my behavior. Many still tried to push anyway, while ignoring what was shared.
There is never a point to take it personally, people generally do not respond to change well. And as our values change, as we transform and rediscover ourselves, it’s our responsibility to show and teach people how we want to be treated.
While keeping this thought in mind, I was ready and prepared. Now I knew what my goals were, I knew my true soulful priorities – they were, and still are, my guides. Even when other people “pushed” and “wanted-needed” me to do something that was not aligned with my core values, it didn’t make a difference.
Sweetheart I hope that you know by now, and if not that you will find out, that with great clarity comes a great strengthen.
With a guidance of my soul, I knew what my next important step needs to be. And it doesn’t mean that I do not show up for others, or help anymore. It just means that I do not always say yes. Since the moment I committed to the well balance business-personal life I dreamed of, I was all in!
While talking my life back into my own hands, I became a rebel. I knew that I needed to break some of my own believes and I needed to do it fast. To make it a little more fun, I invited a little sassy attitude into my own life. It was there, I had it on a back seat with me all this time, so I figured why not?! It was time to WAKE UP!
Changing, shifting and transforming that one believe, and my previous way of thinking had such a huge impact on my life. Learning how to say “no”, when I needed to, was an adventure on its own.
And you? How are you doing on this aspect? What does your life look like today?
Are you living the life, on personal and business aspect, that you dream of? Or are you also dealing with Eiffel Tower long to-do-lists with many added I-promised tasks?
Just to be clear, I’m not talking about those exceptional peak moments.Those moments when you have that special projects, fires that need to be put out, unexpected challenges at home or at work. Those special circumstances that might create a peak of work before things can settle down again.
I’m talking about that constant avalanche of things that need to be done NOW. The feeling that you are going from peak to peak to peak non-stop. I’m talking about those never ending to-do-lists filled with tasks that drain your energy. Jobs that lower your productivity, and the level of your creativity, despite your commitment, doing all you can, and your best intentions.
Is it time for you to take your life into your own hands? Is it time for you to be more picky about what you do and what you don’t do?
If so, you might just need a little rebellion in your life too.
Start with giving yourself a permission to say no. And remind yourself that it’s not because “you could” do something, that “you should” always say yes.
You know that at the end, if you choose with full awareness what you focus on and how you spend your time. How you choose to use your energy. That when you focus on your goals and your priorities it will be ultimately a win for you AND for the people around you.
That’s how you will become all you can be! This is how you will invite your best self forward and how you will become and celebrate all you are. A spectacular divine presence fulfilling a your divine purpose. And by doing so you will inspire, invite and encourage others to do the same.
Do you need a little help with finding out what your most important core values are? Make sure to get your copy from my FREE eBook:
Remember who you truly are! You are a divine presence. You are full of stardust, magic, and wonder dear darling light! Shine!
Thank you for being here with me today. I wish you a wonderful full of incredible moments, love, light and blessings day.